Booking Celebrities For Private Parties | TQS Magazine

Darlings, as I’m sure most of you dear, faithful readers must be aware, TQS is going from strength to strength, and as the core trio have eloped to the big smoke, we’re hoping to invite lots of new cultured lovelies into our readership.  As a result, we decided it might be fun to look into hosting an intimate TQS shindig, replete with A-list (or, at the very least, H-list) names & performers.

I’m afraid, poppets, that this dream has come crashing to its new-born feet before it even opened its eyes and saw the smog-haze that counts for sunlight down here.  HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW MUCH IT COSTS?  We couldn’t even afford ex-Atomic Kitten Liz McClarnon (according to Wikipedia, now an occasional panellist on Channel 5’s The Wright Stuff, dontchaknow).  Here’s what we went through to try and bag ourselves a half-known name:

  • An agency.  Did you know there are companies out there that can sort you out a celebrity singer / DJ / circus act?  Sounds a bit mental really but if you can flash the cash then an agency like can sort it for you.  All you have do to is contact them with the name of the person you want to book and they sort out the rest for you – set up contact, negotiate prices, the lot.  Pretty snazzy; unfortunately they weren’t overly impressed with the £4.67 we managed to scrounge out of TQS’s back pocket (and I don’t get a Christmas bonus or ANYTHING).
  • A friend of a friend of a friend of a friend.  Well it’s just 6 degrees of separation, right?  I mean most people know someone who knows someone who’s an up and coming stand up and had a 10 minute chat with Dara Obrien last year.  All you need to do is harness that connection and you’re sorted.  It’s all about connections, Schweetie.  Which is fab, we almost booked lesser-known comedian Chris Ramsay until it turned out that he’ll literally just wave and walk out the door for £4.67.  Doh!

So, alas alack, TQS may have to wait another year before gracing the pages of Tatler.  What a crying shame for fashionable society.  Unless any of you beautiful, connected readers know a particularly charitable celeb who would happily appear for a free drink (maybe I should give LiLo a call…), I’m afraid your invite got lost in the post.